Men are not Toxic, Men are Medicine.
There is Medicine in Men,
Medicine in YOU—
trying to come to the surface…
But something is in the way…
Old ghosts, old stories, old ways of being, old skeletons in the closet…
distractions, distortions, addictions, resistance, trauma…
Despite it all, you’ve made it this far.
So you keep on pushing, driving, grinding…
…or distracting, numbing, avoiding…
Maybe you’ve done all the right things—
Checked the boxes…
Played the role…
Held it together…
Made the money…
Started the family…
Pushed for more…
Protected, provided, persisted,
to the pain.
Maybe you’ve felt more like a ghost in your own life.
Lost.
Disoriented.
Disconnected.
Unfulfilled.
Unmotivated.
Unseen.
Unable to become the man you were born to be,
despite your best efforts.
Perhaps you were taught to be soft, but never taught how to be solid.
Perhaps you were taught to be hard, but never taught how to feel.
Maybe you’re just beginning your journey,
or maybe you've tried almost everything—
You've read the books.
Tried to be a “better man”.
Gone to therapy.
Maybe you even went to the jungle to drink Ayahuasca.
But there’s still an ache, or a struggle, or an unnamable sadness.
Like me, maybe you’ve struggled with crippling ANXIETY.
Or stagnating DEPRESSION.
Or both.
Truth is, if you’ve made bad life choices, or feel miserable in your relationship,
depression is a natural and healthy response.
If you’re working a job you hate, haven’t stabilized yourself financially,
or deep down don’t fully trust yourself,
anxiety is a natural and healthy response.
Depression is regret about the past.
Anxiety is fear about the future.
They are signs that your SOUL is still alive deep down there, and
still FIGHTING to try to get your attention over the noise of the life that has
And in our culture, we have forgotten how to support men
through the necessary transition and transformation
that often appears as a
“MIDLIFE-CRISIS”
“DARK NIGHT of the SOUL”,
or ROCK-BOTTOM.
If you know deep down that you are NOT living the life you were born to lead,
then ANXIETY and DEPRESSION are par for the course.
Your SOUL crying out that something is WRONG,
crying out in open REBELLION against the enslavement it feels
around your current life circumstances,
shouting out to you that CHANGE is REQUIRED, or ELSE.
Or else, WHAT?
I think you know the answer.
I know I do.
As men, we must learn how to DIE to our PAST
so we can be REBORN as the men we were born to become.
No one taught us how.
This is the FATE of many modern men
without the necessary and nearly absent transformation
of the MASCULINE PATH.
This is that path.
And there IS a way through.
There IS a technology of transformation.
It has simply been largely forgotten.
Until now.
Men are not toxic.
Men are Medicine.
Men are not toxic.
You are not toxic.
Men have not been INITIATED.
We have lost our initiation rites as a culture.
And for the last 70+ years, we have been fixating
on what is “wrong” with men rather than focusing on what’s RIGHT.
Painfully few of us were even taught the things that mattered most.
Almost all of us were never shown how to be good men.
Fewer still were shown the way to cross the threshold from boy to man.
No rites.
No elders.
No initiation from the Tribe of Men we come from.
So I imagine you, like me, have been trying to make sense of your life
in the dark—
Collapsing into “Nice Guy” patterns…
Or armoring up into avoidant tendencies of self-protection.
We rage.
We isolate.
We perform.
We numb.
We withdraw.
We overextend.
We forget what we’re here for.
This work isn’t about becoming someone else.
It’s about remembering who you already are—beneath the conditioning.
It is about becoming the man who has both heart and sword online.
The man whose mere presence alone heals the entire. fucking. room.
What I offer is not another performance or checklist.
It is not false bravado or posturing.
It is neither mimicking nor modeling the sociopaths on social media.
It is a return.
To your body.
To your instincts.
To your sovereignty.
I’m not here to be your guru.
Fuck that.
I’m not here with all the answers.
Fuck perfection.
Perfection is a lie and a trap that took me decades to escape.
What you can count on from me is my commitment to you be with you in the fire—
One who has walked into the abyss and come out carrying tools, technology, and tribe.
What happens when you finally sit with other men without hiding?
What happens when you remember how to embody your own strength without shame?
What happens when your true mission comes online?
When you stop apologizing for your edge, your purpose, your power, your presence, your masculinity?
What happens when you surround yourself with other men committed to doing the same?
This isn’t just about healing ourselves.
This is about healing the generations.
When men heal—everyone heals.
The world is starving for initiated men.
Not perfect men.
Not polished men.
But present men.
If you know it is your time,
If you feel the fire in your belly,
If you’re sick and tired of trying to do this alone—
Come.
You were never meant to walk this path without a tribe.
MIKAAL BATES
Coach | Men’s Work Facilitator | Polarity Guide | Keynote Speaker
Mikaal Bates is a leading voice in men’s work, relational healing, and cultural repair. He offers grounded, heart-centered mentorship for men, women, and couples who are ready to shed performance and embody their deepest truth. Known for his poetic fire and raw honesty, Mikaal creates sacred containers for transformation through 1:1 coaching, group work, private retreats, and stage speaking.
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